Dearest Desire
by UnendingEmpire
Summary: Among the Yama, one isn't too powerful and is pretty childish. Among the Shinigami, one is a hopeless slacker. Why in ZUN's name are they a pair? Well, they wouldn't really want it any other way, according to this one-shot. Rated K-plus for alcohol use.


**Two updates and a new fanfic in one day? Haha, I guess I've gotten back into the nick of writing fanfic, so I'm really happy :D**

**I wanted to do something starring Eiki, but I didn't want anything too long, so I decided to go with this cute one-shot starring our adorable Yama and her stunning underling. It kind of reminds me of Extra Set of Hands near the start, and then it becomes a story that's pretty different from the rest of my stuff. Which is good, of course. Variety is the spice of life, so how am I so happy with my life when it's pretty similar stuff from one day to the next?**

**Guess I found what makes me happy in life; bringing fanfics like this into the world for everybody else to enjoy. Yep, doing this really makes me feel good about myself, so I'm glad you decided to read this :D**

* * *

"For your crimes," Yamaxanadu Eiki Shiki said, about to hand down the judgment. "I judge you as guilty! You shall spent your eternity in Hell for what you've done in life. Let this be a lesson to you." The souls in Higan all feared being judged by Eiki, because perhaps 1% of the souls she judged, if not less, managed to avoid going to Hell. Absolutely nobody was sent to Heaven, because there were complaints that it was over-crowded, so most souls that escaped Eiki's infamous black judgments were simply reincarnated. Never did she let them stay in Higan; black or white, with no grey area at all was her policy.

And she was done her job for the day. Climbing down the massive judge's pedestal at which she stood, Eiki made her way out into the beautiful world of Higan. This was the world of Yama, Shinigami, and the souls that were judged to stay here. Of course, one Shinigami in particular wasn't quite as faithful to her duties as others. And she just so happened to be Eiki's. This never ceased to irritate her, but not once did she ever request to have Komachi replaced by another Shinigami. The Yama was certain; she could straighten out her slacker of an underling.

_THWACK!_ One solid smack to Komachi's sleeping forehead with the Rod of Remorse was all it ever took to wake her up. "I'm up," Komachi shouted, leaping to her feet and grabbing her scythe. Then she started to become aware of her surroundings, and the angry Yama staring her down. "Aw, come on. It's not like there are many souls that have to be ferried over anyway, Shiki-sama."

"There are _always_ souls that need ferrying, Komachi! You've simply been asleep, so all the other Shinigami are taking them all over here without your help!"

"Well, that doesn't sound like a bad end to things."

Saying that was a big mistake. It was obvious by the bright red Eiki was turning in unspeakable rage. "You're hardly fitting for a Shinigami, down to your attitude towards working! Do you have any idea how a Shinigami is supposed to act?" Here it comes. One of Yamaxanadu Eiki Shiki's infamous lectures. Komachi could kiss her day goodbye at this point. "Listen to me, Komachi, and listen well…"

* * *

**One lecture (numerous hours) later…**

"…and _that_, Komachi, is how any real Shinigami would do their job…" _THWACK!_ "**Wake up!**"

"Ah! I'm awake, I'm awake!" Rubbing the twin wounds on her forehead, Komachi asked "What were you saying again?"

"…forget it," Eiki said, obviously exhausted with Komachi's unending slacking. "I've been telling myself for a real long time that I could snap you out of your ways, and make you into a proper Shinigami, but I see there are some things even I can't accomplish."

"Huh?"

"I'm going to start filling out paperwork to have you replaced, Komachi."

"Y-You're gonna _what_?"

"I'm really sorry, but if I can't straighten you out, then nobody can. A Shinigami who doesn't do her job may as well not be a Shinigami at all." Eiki didn't want it to end this way, she really didn't. But it was how it had to be…

* * *

**Later; Office of Head Yama…**

"Replacing your Shinigami, Judge Shiki?"

"I'm afraid so. She's unwilling to perform her duties, and even I can't straighten her out."

"Hmm…for her to not change her ways, even after suffering the discipline of the great Judge Shiki…I'll have a new Shinigami to you tomorrow. I'll send for somebody to bring Komachi here to I can discharge her as a Shinigami once her replacement arrives."

"…thank you…sir." Eiki turned, and started walking. Her shoulders started shaking a little on the way out, but the Head Yama could've easily mistaken that for joy that the big slacker was finally off her hands. That wasn't it, though. The petite Yama was sad. A replacement Shinigami? What would they be like? The other Shinigami were all extremely serious about their duties, and their respect for their Yama bordered on legendary. And then there was Komachi, who really didn't seem to care about meeting any quota, and never spoke formally or in any specific manner of respect, even to Eiki herself. As she started back toward her own little corner of Higan, Eiki found herself crying. _I'm so sorry, Komachi. I didn't wanna do this…_

* * *

**The following day; Office of Yamaxanadu Eiki Shiki…**

"Yamaxanadu Eiki Shiki," said this new person. This would be Komachi's replacement Shinigami. "It is an honor to enter your service."

"Very good. You may begin your duties whenever you feel prepared."

"I shall begin at once," Komachi's replacement said, making his way out the door.

"…" Now it was just Eiki again. Now that the replacement was here, everything felt different. Looking at her Rod of Remorse, Eiki thought back to all the times she'd had to strike Komachi with it to wake her up while she was sleeping on the job. Great. Komachi hadn't even been gone for 60 seconds yet and Eiki already missed her, and couldn't help but start crying over it. Yama weren't supposed to do either of those things, though…

* * *

**Club Ibuki, Gensokyo…**

"What'll -hic- ya have?"

"Whatever's the strongest." Komachi had heard about this place from time to time. A drinking club run by a small flat-chested oni that seemed pretty run-down from the outside, but once one was inside…it was pretty amazing. Bright lights, lively scenery, and a barkeep just as lively as the club itself. That small and flat-chested oni…minus her personality, Komachi was kind of reminded of Eiki. Eiki was also pretty small for a Yama, and had just about no chest at all. The ex-Shinigami couldn't help but laugh a little bit when she remembered how Eiki would often tell her that her chest was too lewd, but she knew plenty well that it was just breast envy boiling up in the Yama. "I really miss her," Komachi said to herself…

"Here -hic- ya go," Suika said, putting down a large mug of alcohol on the table in front of Komachi.

"Thanks." Well, bottoms up. There were other people drinking here, too. Another oni, with one horn and a chest nearly as big as Komachi's was up at the bar, having a lively chat with the barkeep. They seemed to be pretty tight friends. There was also a green-haired youkai sitting near the door, though she only drank water…that girl practically radiated an air of danger. Komachi noted to stay away from her. Short of those two, though, nobody here seemed particularly notable…

"You there," the green-haired girl called. "Come sit down."

"M-Me?"

"No," the youkai replied sarcastically. "I'm talking to the invisible youkai next to you." Although, for a second, she was pretty sure she _did_ see somebody sitting next to Miss Strongest Alcohol. How bizarre…

"I don't see -hic- any harm in it," Komachi said, already a little drunk. Whatever the barkeep gave her, it was _really_ strong. Sitting herself down across from this red-clad youkai, Komachi held out a hand and said "Name's -hic- Komachi Onozuka, former ferry guide for the Sanzu River."

"Yuka Kazami." Yuka shook the hand, and asked "I believe you said former?"

"Yeah. Got replaced; guess Eiki wasn't happy with how I did the job."

"And who would Eiki be?"

"My Yama. Or I guess -hic- she _was_ until I was replaced…"

"Interesting…is she powerful?" Nobody around Gensokyo seemed powerful these days. Ever since Mima left, it was like nobody was more powerful than Yuka, end of story.

"Well, she's a Yama, so yeah. She's kinda like a little kid, though, and she doesn't like to fight."

"I see. Does she come to Gensokyo often?"

"Nah. Lots of times, she -hic- hangs out in Higan."

"Could you take me there?"

"Are you paying?"

With a dark grin, Yuka said "Of course. I'll pay the toll to be ferried across the Sanzu River, and to meet this Eiki."

"Alright, then!" Thing is, Komachi had no idea where Eiki would be. She was pretty predictable, but at the same time, she was the kind of person that one could never be certain where to find them. Meaning Yuka would have to find Eiki on her own.

* * *

**The following day; Higan…**

"Yamaxanadu Shiki-sama," Komachi's replacement respectfully said. "I found this litter near your office. I doubt a Yama like yourself is responsible, so I decided the best course of action would be to inform you."

"Wonderful. Thank you." And with that, Eiki's new Shinigami sped off, back to work. He was nothing at all like Komachi. Eiki wasn't really sure whether to be happy about that or not, but this litter thing needed to be looked into. Although, Eiki wasn't really sure who could be behind something as petty as littering outside the office of a Yama. Only one way to find out, and that was to go to the place itself.

And when she did arrive, she found a trail of litter. Candy wrappers, but they weren't opened. Meaning there was candy inside. Sweet, tasty candy…

"No," Eiki scolded to herself. "I'm a Yama; I don't have time for immature things like eating _delicious_…candy while I'm on duty!" She didn't stop staring at it, though. "Maybe one or two won't hurt," she assured herself in a much sweeter and childish tone. Pick up one candy, open the wrapper, and eat. It was chocolate on the outside, followed by a thin layer of caramel, and then more chocolate! And in the center of it all was a sweet tasty nougat with sugary candy in the center. These were Eiki's favorite! Just one wouldn't suffice. Rinse and repeat for the second unopened wrapper. "So tasty," she said blissfully to herself. Candy wasn't something Eiki got to enjoy often, but sometimes Komachi would have some and the Yama would confiscate it as punishment for neglecting her duties. And then she'd eat it. But there was a whole trail of Eiki's favorite candies. Something like this simply couldn't be ignored. With bright sparkling eyes, Eiki followed the trail, picking up one candy after another.

* * *

**Several hundred candy-guided miles later…**

"Huh…where am I?" Was the candy trail that long? Now she was at the furthest reaches of Higan, where nobody went simply because it was so far away.

"I heard you were strong," said another green-haired individual, stepping forth from the shadows. "Any truth to that?"

"U-Uh…" Not good. Aside from childish, Eiki wasn't particularly powerful for a Yama. Indeed, aside from being able to sentence souls to their eternity, Eiki was actually pretty _weak_ for a Yama! "Hey, I don't want any trouble, okay? I just followed these candies here…" Revelation. "_You_! How dare you deceive a Yama and lure her away from her duties using bait! And furthermore, how dare you, as a living individual, intrude upon the grounds of Higan, reserved solely for the dead and those who judge or ferry them! I condemn you as-"

_THWACK!_ "Quit talking," Yuka said irritably, whacking Eiki solid on the head with her umbrella.

"…y-you…hit me…" Cue very un-Yama-like tears. Nobody had ever hit Eiki before, and this person had a really powerful hitting arm and left a big bruise right on Eiki's forehead. "Don't hit me again!"

_THWACK!_ "You're a Yama! Yama are powerful, right? Let me see _how_ powerful!"

"Q-Quit yelling at me…"

"You're hopeless," Yuka said, obviously annoyed that coming here was such a huge waste of time for her. The tip of her umbrella pointed straight to Eiki as bright blue energy began charging at the tip. "If you're a Yama, you should be able to fight me with ease. So fight me, dammit! Life is too boring without a little fun, so enjoy yourself!"

"I just wanna eat this candy," Eiki sobbed. "Leave me alone!"

"Tch. Useless. Magic Sign: Master Spark!"

_BOOM!_

"Komachi," Eiki screamed, covering her head with her hands in the hope that it would at least provide a little bit of cover.

_SWEOOOO-CHOOM! _A massive pink light struck down between Eiki and Yuka, and the Master Spark appeared to stop when it entered. In truth, it was still moving, but the distance from one end of that light to the other was in fact thousands of miles. And standing between that light and Eiki was none other than the girl whose name had just been called out. And she looked _severely_ pissed off. "I don't know who you are," Komachi said angrily, staring daggers right into Yuka. "But _nobody_ hurts my Shiki-sama."

"K-K…Komachi…"

"You alright back there?"

"Y-Yes, of course! But why are you back in Higan after I've had you replaced?"

"You called me, right?" Turning back to Yuka, Komachi ran straight at her, ignoring the thousands-of-miles effect of her bright pink light. "I'll teach you what happens to people who try and hurt Shiki-sama while I'm still around!" And with her powers over distance, Komachi would _always_ be around.

* * *

**One brief fight scene later…**

"There you have it," Komachi said, holding a bloody scythe over her shoulder. Behind her was one Yuka Kazami, no longer able to stand up. "Are you okay, Shiki-sama?"

"…I need a pen."

"Hm?"

"Komachi, I'm really sorry I had you replaced. I want _you_ as my Shinigami. This person who replaced you is very serious about his duties, and doesn't take a second off, even when I tell him that he can take a break."

"Sounds like your dream worker to me."

"No, not at all! I miss waking you up from your sleep and lecturing you, and I miss having to find you slacking off. Komachi, I want you back!"

"Heh…I'd love to get back to work."

"Great! Come on, let's go to Head Yama's office and get the paperwork done. You can start whenever you feel prepared, Komachi."

"Haha…you sure you wanna say that to me?" Following her candy-eating Yama, Komachi started toward Head Yama's office. It was good to have her job back, and it was even better to have her boss back again.

* * *

**Aren't they so cute together?**

**I know that some portray Eiki as real childish, and I wanted to try and do that, but I seem to have trouble making a childish Eiki. The best thing I had was the candy thing there, though maybe I should explain how Yuka knew it would work.**

**Komachi told her off-screen while she was ferrying the USC across the Sanzu River. That good and done, I hope you enjoyed reading this fun one-shot story as much as I enjoyed writing it~**


End file.
